I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize