remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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