Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
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