i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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