Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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