he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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