my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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