And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
My feet surprised me
ok first of all what the fuck
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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