Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
