so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I will be naked everywhere
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
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