He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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