Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
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The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
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I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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