I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
