so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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