Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Blood and glitter go together right?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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