I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
