We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
