Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
this just has baby written all over it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
