Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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