There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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