Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
