Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
