Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
