your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
