Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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