4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize