Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize