She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
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I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
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Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.