Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night