i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
