Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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