OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
