I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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