There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
