I'm so fucking centered right now
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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