I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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