it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize