i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Even my vagina gasped.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
