Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My liver just had a heart attack.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
