I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
