Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
