He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
