My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize