I need help removing her.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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