...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
