mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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