last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
