you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
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He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
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BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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