i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
