Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
