I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
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Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
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God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm both gender and math confused
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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