I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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