"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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