I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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