I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
