The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
