I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
